Every Who
Out in Who-net
Liked Cyberspace a lot...

But the Grinch,
Who administered Who-net,
Did NOT!

The Grinch HATED CyberSpace! The whole CyberSpace thread!
Now don't ask us why--read the FAQ list instead!
It could be his monitor had the wrong height.
It could be that his screen "real estate" was too tight.
But I think that the most likely reason of all
May have been that his hard drive was 2 gigs too small.

But whatever the reason, his drive or his screen,
The Grinch said to himself, "Now, I MUST intervene!"
"They'll be cooking their cookies, and baking their cakes!
And ruining keyboards with crumbs, crust and flakes!
They'll be CU-SeeMeing with video-cams
And taking up bandwidth and causing logjams!"
And he thought, as he rapped on his mouse with a sneer,
"I must find some way to abort this whole schmear!"

Then he cranked his CD and broadcast "9-inch-nails"
To a group from Globe Schoolhouse who'd sent him emails.
"And they'll go on vacations, to some other town,
And leave me here alone when the system goes down!"
As he turned his web browser to "Curse At My Kitten,"
All at once, with an awful idea was he smitten.
"Why didn't I think this before?" he announced.
"They can't log in to CyberSpace without their accounts!"

One by one, he logged on and he altered each setting,
"I can't wait till tomorrow!", he said. "They'll be fretting
and clicking their icons, with utter despair!"
But a private chat invite inquired, "Who's There?"

It appeared one lone hacker had not yet logged out,
And was browsing the network and surfing about.
"Why are you changing my privilege? Why?"
The Grinch grimaced a moment, then typed his reply:

"See, we've got a new gateway," he said, "with new specs."
"And we've found in our testing some bad side-effects.
It sends multiple copies of email outside
And is slowing down throughput, you see" he replied.
"I must shut down the server and unmount the drive,
And test which of my router connections are live.
If you'll only log off for an hour or two,"
I can fix it and let you know when I am through."

Then he leapt to the chooser, and brought up the nodes
And he altered their passwords, corrupted their codes.
"Now I've got you!", he snickered, "philosopher Greeks!"
"This whole Net will stay down for at least a few weeks!"
And he transferred their volumes to one mammoth file,
Which he placed in the trashcan and watched for a while.
"You, know", he remarked, "this is choking my cache."
"As admin, it's a sin not to empty the trash!"

With deliberate slowness he pointed and clicked,
And he grinned as he highlit the item he picked,
As a dialog box then appeared, to excite him.
It announced that "the trash can contains one big item.
That uses 560gb of disk space."
(The white light from the monitor lit up his face).
"Are you totally sure that you want to remove it?"
The Grinch pointed to "Yes" with his pointer to prove it....

When all of sudden the door alarm chimed!
With a curse, the Grinch muttered, "How perfectly timed!
But at this early hour, now, who could it be?
And he peered past his cubicle, straining to see,
When at once the Grinch rose with a laugh and a cheer,
As the lab filled with Diet Coke, Pizza and Beer!
And he SMILED! And thanked them for being so nice,
And with glee he, the Grinch, cut and served the first slice.